Emotional Competency Development Guidelines

Self-awareness

Self-Awareness | Self-Management | Social Awareness | Relationship Management

This section provides detailed definitions of each of the 8 competencies of Relationship Management. In addition, suggested development activities, books to read, and movies to watch have been provided to aid you in your personal competency development plan.

Relationship Management Competencies

Developmental Tips

  1. Developing Others.

    This competency is about the ability to foster the long-term learning or development of others. Its focus is on the developmental intent and effect rather than on the formal role of teaching or training. Those who do this well spend time helping people find their own way to excellence through specific feedback on current performance.

    The person who possesses the competency Developing Others:

    • Offers feedback to improve another person's performance
    • Mentors or coaches others
    • Recognizes specific strengths of others

  • Regularly take time to talk to individuals about their aspirations, the things they want to do better, and the things they would like to try out.
  • Watch the movie Good Will Hunting. This story is about helping someone see the opportunities in his future.
  • Read: Developing High Performance People: The Art of Coaching, B. Mink, 1993.
  1. Inspirational Leadership.

    This is the ability to take on the role as leader of a team or group. It implies a desire to lead others. Leadership is generally, but certainly not always, shown from a position of formal authority. People with this competency work to bring people together to get the job done. They are able to build a strong sense of belonging within the group, leading others to feel they are part of something larger than themselves.

    The person who possesses the competency Inspirational Leadership:

    • Makes activities or projects engaging
    • Inspires others by articulating a vision or a mission
    • Motivates others by arousing emotions

  • When launching significant new projects or initiatives, consider spending time with your team creating a vision for the work and building commitment going forward.
  • Interview or shadow a leader whom you find inspirational. Ask yourself why you find this individual inspirational. Analyze this person's style and ask how he/she views his/her role.
  • Watch the movie, Twelve O'Clock High for an in depth study of leadership- how it can succeed and where it can fail.
  • Read: The Leader of the Future, F. Hesselbein, M. Goldsmith, eds., 1996.
  1. Influence.

    This is the ability to persuade, convince, or impact others in order to get them to go along with or support your agenda. This competency is about grabbing someone's attention and imparting something they want to hear. People with this competency know how to make others stand up and listen.

    The person who possesses the competency Influence:

    • Builds consensus and support for positions
    • Convinces others by appealing to their self-interest
    • Anticipates how people will respond to an argument and adapts his/her approach accordingly

  • Form a study group among colleagues or other students to draw upon others' successful experiences and reality-test future strategies.
  • Take part in a task force or committee on an important and timely organizational/cross-departmental problem.
  • Read: Influence without Authority, A. Cohen and D. Bradford, J Wiley & Sons, 1990.
  • Watch the movie Hoosiers for the coaching style of influence.
  1. Communication.

    This is the ability to send clear and convincing messages to an audience in an open and effective way. People with this competency make their presentations in an engaging style and are open to dialogue with the audience.

    The person who possesses the competency Communication:

    • Uses an engaging presentation style
    • Uses nonverbal cues, like tone of voice, to express feelings that reinforce messages in presentations
    • Uses examples or visual aids to clarify or underscore messages when making a presentation

  • Identify and observe others who have an engaging style while presenting.
    • Pay particular attention to their nonverbal behavior. What are they doing?
    • What visual aids are they using and how do those aids help to get the message across?
  • When delivering information to people, encourage them to ask questions and encourage them to summarize your key points to ensure they have understood.
  • Videotape yourself making a presentation to a group and critique it for style, use of examples, and nonverbal cues.
  • Watch the movie, Mr. Holland's Opus for use of communication techniques.
  1. Change Catalyst.

    This competency is about having the ability to alert, energize, and lead groups to bring about specific changes in the way things are done. This is recognizing the need for change and taking ownership of change initiatives in order to move the group or department forward.

    The person who possesses the competency Change Catalyst:

    • Removes barriers to change
    • Personally leads change initiatives
    • Calls attention to the need for change

  • Think about the worst possible change that might happen to you and your team. Write a list of possible benefits from that change and think about how you would sell those benefits to the team if you had to.
  • When preparing to tell others about a change, think about each person in turn. How will the change impact this person? How has he/she responded to change in the past? What questions or comments might he/she have? Use your answers to prepare for a discussion with this person about an upcoming change.
  • Read: The Change Masters, R. Moss-Kanter, 1995.
  1. Conflict Management.

    This is the ability to handle difficult individuals, groups of people, or tense situations with diplomacy and tact. This involves coming face-to-face with the conflict rather than trying to avoid it. This competency entails focusing on the issues rather than the people and working to de-escalate the bad feelings.

    The person who possesses the competency Conflict Management:

    • Brings disagreements out in the open
    • Helps de-escalate conflicts
    • Communicates the positions of those involved in a conflict to all concerned

  • If you are sensing trouble brewing with an individual, take steps to bring the disagreement or grievance into the open before it turns into a conflict situation.
  • When in a heated discussion, focus on the issues at hand and leave personal matters aside. Ask yourself, Is what I am saying or doing productive in trying to resolve this situation?
  • Read: Conflict Management: The Courage to Confront, Richard J. Mayer, 1995.
  1. Building Bonds.

    This is about working to build or maintain friendly, reciprocal, and warm relationships or networks of contacts with people. Building Bonds means developing and maintaining good relationships with a variety of people.

    The person who possesses the competency Building Bonds:

    • Makes close personal friends with acquaintances or classmates
    • Has a wide, informal network of colleagues
    • Nurtures relationships related to activities or projects

  • Take part in professional associations or appropriate social events to build your network and strengthen relationships.
  • Identify organizational dynamics. Practice thinking in terms of these dynamics rather than simply about individuals or roles. What are the systemic relationships of people and groups within the organization? How can you capitalize on these relationships to win support for your ideas?
  • Read: Networking: How to Enrich Your Life and Get Things Done, Donald Woods, Shirley D. Omerod, 1993.
  1. Teamwork and Collaboration.

    This competency is about working cooperatively with others, being part of a team, and working together as opposed to working separately or competitively. Teamwork and Collaboration is enjoying shared responsibility and rewards for accomplishments. It is actively participating and enjoying building the capability of the team.

    The person who possesses the competency Teamwork and Collaboration:

    • Maintains cooperative working relationships
    • Builds team identity and spirit
    • Promotes a friendly, cooperative climate in groups or organizations

  • Create a symbol for a group or team to rally around, or hold a get-together to celebrate the team's success.
  • Avoid taking control of the agenda or being the first to make suggestions; share the different roles being played in the group.
  • Watch the movie The Great Escape, which shows both the problems and benefits of people working together to accomplish common objectives.
  • Read: Groups That Work (and Those That Don't), J. R. Hackman, Jossey-Bass, 1990.

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